Done
by GumdropsandButterflies
Summary: She has had enough, with nothing left for her here she is done. Mentions of suicide and major character death.
1. Chapter 1

**Contains brief description of suicide and major character death!**

She had lied, that was true. If she had the need to she would do it all over again, it was to protect her family and her best friend. She had expected backlash and anger from everybody. What she hadn't expected was for her almost sister- Penelope, to slap her across the face. For her Spence to practically tell her that if he had started taking Dilaudid again that it would have been on her. She thought that Hotch, the man who respected her and who she had confided in for all those weeks, was going to stand up for her but instead he separated himself form her. She couldn't blame him, he had to be trusted by his team and by talking to her he would never get that again. Morgan looked at her in disgust half of the time and gave her the cold shoulder the other half. Emily came back and was welcomed with open arms, of course. They were all happy she was alive, it wasn't her fault because she had to survive. JJ thought that things would be normal with her at least but no. She was always booked with the other team members and when they did talk it was like Emily wished JJ had told the others about her being in hiding. So now that she had nothing left and her letter was written JJ stood atop the roof of her apartment and stared out at the city, the lights, the cars. And for the last time she thought about when she had a job she loved, when she had a family that was unbreakable, when she had trust and felt warmth in heart. And then she glanced at the sky and thought about where her heart was supposed to beat, she felt nothing. She looked down at the asphalt and closed her eyes, a single teardrop falling down her cheek before being swept away by the wind. She was wearing a black dress that represented her life, her hair was held by a clip, her lips stained red, even her nails were painted black. She opened her eyes and let herself slump forward the wind blew her hair backwards and cooled her skin. She did not panic or see her life flash before her eyes, she just exhaled and let the asphalt be the last thing she saw before everything went black and a wave of pain passed before her entire body, the sound of bones cracking reached her ears before she lost the ability to see, feel, taste her minty mouth, and then hear as she stopped breathing and her heart stopped beating.

* * *

Hotch heard his phone ring, he thought about when JJ's call was the only one he ever anticipated whether it be for a case or Emily. He felt guilty about shutting her out but did not have a chance to think about her again as his team looked at him- they were all sitting in Rossi's cabin, as his phone rang again.

He looked at his phone in confusion, "Hotchner" he answered.

"This is Greenswood Hospital calling about Jennifer Jareau."

Hotch stood in shock, "Is everything okay?"

"I'm very sorry to tell you but Jennifer Jareau jumped from a ten story apartment building at 6:54 PM, she was pronounced dead on scene." He fell back onto the sofa as all the chatter around him stopped as they looked at him. Swallowing the lump in his throat he looked at his team who waited for an answer. "We retrieved a letter from her body addressed to a 'Hotch, etc.' If you would like to retrieve the letter you may come to the hospital at this time, I'm very sorry for your loss."

"I'll be there with the rest as soon as I can, thank you." He managed.

"JJ."

He had to stop to clear his throat.

"What about her" Emily asked.

"The call was from Greenswood Hospital, JJ took her life today by jumping ten stories from an apartment building. She was gone by the time they arrived on scene." He paused as they looked at him in shock. "I'm heading there now to retrieve the letter she left for us, if you want to join me you can."

"Hotch, man please tell me this is fake." Morgan cried.

"I'm sorry but we aren't getting her back this time." Hotch said.

The team all climbed into an SUV and drove to the hospital where they were directed to a private room and left with the letter.


	2. Chapter 2

**Her letter and goodbye to everyone.**

_"If you're reading this it's because I finally gathered up the courage to end my 'life' on this Earth. I don't know what will happen next but I hope you guys wish me to somewhere nice. I'm sorry for making you guys deal with this but I can't say I'm sorry for what I've done. There was nothing left for me here, I can't feel anything and that's something I always told myself I would never reach. I have no family to speak of, no job, nowhere to call home. I'm not doing anything for anyone and I can't get myself out of bed anymore. You guys were more than I ever deserved and I am so glad I got to experience the feeling of family with you guys. Of course my luck ended like I always knew it would, I just never thought it would be so soon. If you aren't sick of me already and decide to read on I want to say good bye to each of you._

_Hotch- You were my role model for a long time and it was an honor working with you. I'm sorry that you felt you could never have the team's trust and my friendship but I cherish the time we confided in each other. I hope you find happiness in someone because the last time I saw you, you could hardly smile let alone laugh. Don't break Hotch and if you decide to fall I hope you'll have team there to catch you._

_Penelope- Before I met you it had been many years since I had a sister, you were my sister to who I looked to for a laugh or a second of comfort. Whenever I think of you I think of color, innocence but not naivety, love and happiness, cheer. Please never lose that, it's what makes you. You are one of the strongest people I got the pleasure to know, horrors fill your screen everyday yet you manage a smile. I love you so much and if there is a life after Death then know that I'll think of you every day, before I met you I was losing my faith in ever finding a replacement for my sister. I found a sister in you not a replacement and I thank you for that. I love you so much._

_Morgan- Thank you for being the cheeky older brother I never had, thank you for giving me those hugs that made me feel so safe after the hard cases. And thank you for letting me get drunk after those nights when I felt on the verge of losing myself, I know that it was my fault that our brother-sister relationship crumbled so never feel guilty when you think about me. You have me years of something I never thought I would have and it was amazing to get to know you, keep kickin' down doors Derek._

_Spencer- Spence, thank you so much for being the innocent little brother I always wanted to protect. I know that I failed once when Tobias took you and I'm sorry. My biggest mistake was letting it happen again when I held you for all those weeks and lied to you when I could have ended your pain and suffering in a second. I never meant to hurt you and I'm very sorry I did. Love you always and keep what innocence you have, to me you will always be my little brother and I'm sorry I'll probably never be your big sister again._

_Rossi- It was because of you I ever decided to join the BAU and it was honor working alongside you, after all the loss you have experienced I don't know if I really mean anything but even though you ruffled some feathers when you first joined you soon became a member of the family and you inspired me every day. Keep making your grumpy comments, you're a great man and agent._

_Emily- None of this was your fault, I would do it over again if I had to because I saw you as my best friend. From the time you stood in Hotch's office I knew we would be good friends, I just never expected we would be so close. You have grown past so many obstacles in your life, you are so strong. I love you so much and I hope that when you think of me you'll think of our movie nights, Scrabble, and happy memories. Thanks for being my best friend for so long._

_Thank you all so much for all these happy years and please don't hate me more for this, I wasn't as strong as you all used to think and I couldn't continue. If you want you can look at my body and say goodbye before they reduce me to ashes, I have no idea what to do with something so worthless and I love you all even if you all don't love me._

_Goodbye,  
JJ"_


	3. Chapter 3

"Fuck!" Morgan slammed his fists into the pale blue wall of the private room, Penelope quickly went to his side and enveloped him in a hug. "How could she do this? I mean-" He trailed off as he realized that pretending to be angry with JJ wouldn't make the pain in his chest subside.

Hotch turned to Emily and asked, "Are you alright?"

"No! This should have never gotten this far, if I would have just been smart enough to come to you guys before I went rouge and she had to fake my death, you guys wouldn't have gotten angry at her and we would all be okay!" She shouted.

"Emily, you read what she said. She doesn't want us to feel guilty." Hotch tried to reason.

"This is all my fault! I knew she was struggling, she was lonely but I just kept pushing away. I-I should have helped her!" She sunk down into a soft chair, putting her head into her hands and crying softly trying to get her compartments in order.

"Reid?" Hotch tried with the young genius.

"I don't know what to say. I just want s-someone to come out and say surprise! Please tell me this is a prank, or a joke?! I just want this to be fake again, at least then we would get her back! I-I never should have left her like that, she is... was my sister. I want her back!" He collapsed onto the ground and began to sob, not even bothering to be quiet.

Hotch looked around the room and saw Morgan and Garcia still hugging by the dented wall, Rossi staring stonily faced at the wall, Emily curled up in the chair she fallen into, and Reid who was still on the cold ground. He sighed before walking out to find the doctor who had notified him of this terrible tragedy and to escape the suffocating grief in the room.

"Excuse me? Can you tell me the details of Jennifer Jareau's death?" He asked.

"We received a call at 6:45 PM notifying us of a suicide, that's when things took a strange twist..."

_"I would like to report a suicide." _

_An oddly calm voice came form the other side of the line._

_"Can I have your address? Please don't touch the scene and try to stay near the body. Are you sure-"_

_"There is no body. Yet." The voice said with a tremor in the voice of the speaker. "I'm reporting my own suicide."_

_"Ma'am please stay calm, there's help on the way. An ambulance and a few officers will be there shortly, we can offer you help-"_

_The voice cut off the nurse again._

_"I don't need help. Or an ambulance, I'm about to jump 10 stories off of my apartment building." _

_A dry chuckle came over the line._

_"Please can I have your name, everything's going to be okay." _

_The nurse tried to soothe. _

_"My name is Jennifer, nothing is okay anymore!" She swallowed the lump in her throat as her voice rose to a yell. "My name is Jennifer Jareau, please contact Aaron Hotchner at-" The nurse knowing that the call was nearing it's end tried to speak over the young woman's voice. "Please just hold on" She resumed in a monotonous tone. "301-982-2369" _

_"Jennifer!"_

"That's when she hung up, when the EMT's arrived at 6:54 PM she was dead."

Hotch walked back into the private room and saw that everyone was expressing their grief in one way or the other as they had heard the conversation. He sat onto a plushy couch in the corner and began to cry.

"Oh Cara. If there is a god..." Rossi trailed off as he resumed his prayers in silence.

When the doctor walked into the room her heart skipped a beat as she say the remaining pieces of a family. A broken family.


End file.
